the force of gravity is irresistible

"What meaning does it find in my awareness," asks Rilke of a rose in a porcelain vase on his desk. "It too should not be here, / it should have bloomed or faded in the garden / outside, never involved with me. But now it lives on in its small porcelain vase." (from Requiem to a Friend)

In his meditation on mortality and the transient nature of being, Rilke examines the subject of a thing's meaning with him present. The entire life cycle of this rose is altered when it was cut from its branches, its thorns shed, and brought indoors in a isolated, unmoving space. For inside, we can prevent the world from tightening its grasp around us. Sure, dust settles. Books shift. The mystery and magic of the universe breathes into the stillness of our unattended clothes on hangers, our nicknacks on shelves.

What I'm curious about is not what meaning Things find in my awareness, but in my absence. Reality, as we perceive it, can only exist as what's directly in front of us: what we can know with our senses -- these things are real. But what of the shadows and husks of our days, when we move out of our routine and into variance? This previously unknown-to-us world has always existed, but its tangibility has meant little to us until we are in it. Does a rose know that it is a rose when we are gone? Or does it simply stand, as it always does, only to find meaning when people ascribe it?

With this, and the tension of yesterday's events in mind, I find myself questioning. I know the police chase was real - I know someone who lives nearby. I know that people died - their mortality blooming in blood like the pollen on these springtime trees. And in the end, after a long, taut day a man was apprehended. These things are real, and yet in the images displayed on screens, the text in tweets online, I find myself disconnected. Shouldn't I feel something other than confusion over the presentation of events, meditating meta-awareness?

Despite my confounded state, this is a new day. "The force of gravity is irresistible" as we are all pulled into the weighty epicenter of a tragedy. I think now of what's to come, and of the inevitability of life -- not of the supposed felt realness of events. Memories and silhouettes in our minds are as real as anything when life is taken senselessly and abruptly. Smoke lingers after a flame is extinguished.

As we move through the world, it continues moving - as it always has.

simple sunday # 5

What's simpler than making delicious food - fast - with left overs? Not much. Hello, tri-color quinoa, black bean, broccoli and tomato bowl.

simple sunday #4

This triple weekend snow ritual continues my mindfulness of being, ever cognizant of the constant movement of time, ambling forward with the promise of change and new beginnings. I aim to listen to the subtle ticking of the clock, moving me - encouraging me. We have so much to gain from the lessons of life, which is why this Rilke passage struck me. Let life happen to you - because if not, what is there?

This is from today's entry in A Year with Rilke: Daily Readings that I found during an afternoon bookstore perusal seeking respite from the cold. Something about this season makes me crave contemplation and snuggling. Whatever the reason, I'm glad for it.

simple sunday #3

Six inches and falling: puff of ice punctuating weekends - detaining us to warmer climes. A french press to myself, runny yolks and toast is better self-made when the wind is seen through a veil of dusty snow.

Be quiet, now, to hear the fullness of silence. 

Though bells will ring 

church steeples were catchin' fire

If you promise spring 

Then I'll know you are a liar

Cause in the spring

Tender grasses won't burn easily

Tough thrushes sing

Still my lover won't return to me

"Souverian," Andrew Bird

simple sunday #2

Solo Sunday breakfast as snow falls outside. A book and coffee on the side. Quiet. Pensive.

It seems like this blog was the last of my web presence to catch up with my new life. Time to bring it up to speed with posts every Sunday about how I'm aiming to live my life more simply and meaningfully.

simple sunday #1

a productive Sunday fueled by an early afternoon snack: ciabatta, oliveoil, tomatoes, havarti, baby spinach & raspberry hibiscus tea.

I'm aiming to cut out excess in my life to make room for richer experiences in the areas that it matters most. That means enriching my body, mind and spirit by being mindful of the beautiful simple moments each day has.

avocado + caprese egg toast

This morning I woke in a funk. I got a crummy voicemail, I had a denied loan deferment lingering over my head and my toes were cold.

Instead of listening to the grumbling in my head about these issues with my reality, I decided to do something about the hunger in my stomach.

Enter caprese egg toast. Don't have a toaster? Not even a toaster oven? No problem. Place your toast in the oven on broil, making sure to flip it half way through. After you've made fried your eggs with butter and cheese of your choice (I chose a mozza/parm blend), smear some ripe avocado on the toasty bread. Who needs more butter when you've got an open avocado in your fridge? Slice some tomato nice and thin, and then after you've placed the cheesy eggs on your bountiful toast, sprinkle some basil on there.

Go ahead, make yourself some delicious toast when you're down. Put on a pot of french roast and enjoy your morning. It'll not only make your stomach happy, but it'll remind you that even the smallest things in life can make you smile. 

savoring the journey

I went through a period of readinglessness.

Readinglessness, adj. Characterizing listlessness and indifference of literature majors towards the written word post-graduation. 

But, now... Oh now, I'm getting back into text in a big way. I've made a few resolutions for our move to Boston. And two of them deal specifically with this turning away from the aforementioned lethargy. Goodbye, reading/writing sabbatical!

1) write more. There was once a time in my life where I wrote all the time. Where the need to produce some sort of text that reflected my muddled thoughts was a tangible urge... if I didn't I felt incomplete. Lost. I'm trying to get back into it. And that means wading through choppy fragments and run-ons in order to get my stuff down. This blog will become more of an outlet for that.

2) read. I recently finished a fantastic compilation of advice column letters by Cheryl Strayed called Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Life and Love by Sugar. What a seriously incredible book. There were so many entries that spoke to me. If you have a chance, pleasepleaseplease pick it up. You won't regret it.

I'm also juggling a couple of collections of short stories.

Love/Imperfect by Christopher T. Leland

i am no one you know by Joyce Carol Oates

With the commute on the T in town everyday, I thought I'd get re-acclimated to reading by getting my feet wet in deliciously bite-sized stories. Mmmm...

Well, that's my little nugget for the day. I figure, why jump into these things when I can go about them languorously, savoring the journey?

tricolor thyme and garlic quinoa + cod filets

It's official: we've moved to Boston. 

And after all that roadtrip food and all those questionable ingredients, 

I thought quinoa, green beans, tomato, avocado and breaded cod would be lovely.

And it was. 

More to come from this new kitchen in MA.

It's huge. 

three salads and a soup

It's hot. What does one crave in steamy weather? Well this one craves salad. In its many forms.  

Pasta salad // crostini

The trick with pasta salads is that you have to let them marinate - the longer the better. Topping al dente pasta salad with crunchy and rich crostini makes a carby but delicious meal.

Ingredients
1/2 lb penne and 1/b rotini

1/2 onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves 

1/2 cup chopped zuchinni

1/2 cup yellow bell pepper

2/3 pint of cherry tomatoes

1 small bunch of asparagus

Dressing

1/3 cup balsamic vinegar

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

3 cloves crushed garlic
dried oregano, basil
1 and 1/2 tbsp dijon mustard

Crostini
a good hard bread (like ciabatta) slice cut into half-inch slices
extra virgin olive oil drizzled over bread
toppings (fresh mozarella and basil, tomatoes, smoked salmon and dill)

toast bread in a preheated 350-degree oven for 3 minutes on both sides. 

Chicken salad
I just made this salad for the second time. Like the pasta salad, this simple chicken salad is even better on days two and three. Try on some of that ciabatta or straight up.

Ingredients
1 lb poached chicken breast*
1 pint halved grapes
juice of half a lemon
1/2 cup chopped almonds
2 heaping tbsp mayonnaise
1 tsp Dijon mustard
cumin, salt and paper to taste
1 tsp paprika 


*I used dried basil, oregano, parsley, bay, garlic powder and thyme. I also used 2 and 1/2 cups of water. 

Mixed greens and strawberries // vegetable soup
When I found this recipe for a mixed green and strawberries, I knew I had to try it. Balsamic is perhaps a surprising coupling for a berry, but they compliment each other quite nicely indeed.  Homemade pepper-bacon bits sprinkled over the top added the perfect smokiness to the balance the tangy vinegar.

The soup I made was based with the broth leftover from the poached chicken from above. Waste not, want not, right?

Ingredients
3 cups of homemade chicken broth
1/2 shallot
3 cloves of garlic
1/2 onion
dried oregano, basil, thyme, salt, pepper
1 and 1/2 cups of farfalline pasta
assorted frozen veggies: peas, green beans, corn

Up next: potato salad, and more with greens, nuts and fruits. I'm thinking something with peaches, pecans and kale. mmm.
It's a gonna be a good summer. 

salmon + asparagus + potato

We haven't cooked in a while. Like a real meal. You know, one of those that you take time to do, take time to eat and enjoy.

Following this baked potato recipe gave us an hour. So tonight, we made pistachio and sesame cracker encrusted salmon, seasoned with dill, basil, salt, pepper and a little bit of extra virgin. The vegetable? Some beautifully unadulterated and vibrant organic asparagus.

Of course, some Highland Pale Ale was a lovely sidekick. 

SO GOOD.

spicy ramen stir fry

Spice caps: there are two ways to open them. 1) flip the top and proceed with a conservative shake-it-out method, OR 2) go for daring with the unscrew-and-eyeball-it method. Well, I inadvertently hopped on a crazy train last night and shook about 1/2 cup of red pepper flakes into our tofu and veggie stir fry. See the all those fiery flakes?

The solution: 

Ramen. 

Even with a pack of these fast-cooking noodles, the broccoli, carrot, corn and green bean stir fry was still coated with the little red pepper.

This picture doesn't look spicy, but whoa-nelly, was it hot. 

Recipe: 

sesame oil, 1 tablespoon

canola oil, 1/2 tablespoon

soy sauce, 1/2 tablespoon or to taste

basil, 1/2 teaspoon

garlic, 6 cloves

red pepper flakes, to taste

firm tofu, 1 pack

whichever vegetables (carrots, broccoli, corn, greenbeans, sprouts, watercress, bok choy...)

Procedure:

Add to a cool pan the first 4 items. Raise temperature to about medium low heat, stirring garlic in the oils to infuse. Add tofu and raise temperature to medium high heat, making sure to saute and coat the tofu in the oils. Start to boil water for ramen. Add vegetables (I would suggest longest cooking ones first) and cook for an additional 5-7 minutes. Sprinkle basil and red pepper flakes, and stir for another 3 or so minutes. Add ramen to boiling water, and when finished, introduce noodles to pan and mix to coat. 

Our happened-upon ramen was not for the faint of heart or delicate of stomachs. It was so tasty but so spicy; my lips were burning the rest of the night. I want to try this again while being more aware of the dual-functions of the spice cap! It's a great fast meal if you're under a time crunch and want something nutritious. Substitute the ramen for brown rice, or go with just the veggies. Mmmm!

awol science: jalapeno chip taste test

Ever had an amazing chip experience? Like one that you would want to share with the world, shouting from the rooftops your love for thinly sliced potatoes? If not, this post  -- assuming that your taste buds waver on the side of adventurous --may take you there.

One lovely day, my comrades at the library's special collections and I used our lunch time to ascertain which of four common chip brands had the best jalapeno chip. 

The contenders & their sponsors: 

This is Jessica. To the party, she brought some Lay's Kettle Cooked Jalapeno chips. Jessica confesses that she has a love for spicy food, but had never before tried these Lay's. She likes ambient music, computer games, and is a super fast typist. 

Meet Erica (of streetmanner). It was a conversation with Erica that this whole idea of a chip taste test was conceived. She brought Cape Cod Sweet and Spicy Jalapeno chips. As one could gather from her blog, she loves fashion, plants and tea.

Hi, Lu! Another spicy food enthusiast, Lou brought these Ms. Vickie's variety of jalapeno chips. Besides being a music major and working in the archives, he dapples in creating gluten-free wonders, such as some delicious unleavened Norwegian bread.

And this is me with a bag of my beloved Zapp's, which in my opinion, is best enjoyed with a ham and cheese sandwich with some dijonnaisse. 

The criteria: 

We judged each of the chip brands on their spiciness, flavor, texture, smell and what Erica called, "after-effects." As seen here, we each rated the flavors on a scale from one-to-ten.

The different brands all had something going for them. So instead of awarding an overall "best" to one, we indicated what each type had.

Honorable Mention and Best Fake Flavor

Miss Vickie's had a slight cheesiness to them that set it apart from the rest. As such, and not exactly tasting of the pepper, we decided it had the best artificial flavor.

Most Authentic Jalapeno Flavor

Ever bitten into a jalapeno? Well, you wouldn't have to with a handful of these babies. YUM. My favorite.

Spiciest

Now, I thought the Zapp's were spicier, but the Cape Cods had a sort of tricky spiciness: as the sweetness of cheap lured you into a safe spot, its hot counterpart kicked in gave your tastebuds a jolt. Eat one after the other, and that sneaky, compounding sort of spiciness was a building fire in our mouths.

Best Texture

One word: CRUNCH.

One thing I would recommend when trying four different types of spicy chips (spicy anything, for that matter) is that you would have something to quench the thirst that ensues. Phew.

biscoff ice cream + espresso

One of the perks of working at a local ice cream shop is creating treats. 

espresso

+

biscoff ice cream

=

deeee.lish.us.

Biscoff ice cream is a Hop Ice Cream creation <3

spinach stuffed chicken + pesto pasta

What to do with a 5oz container of fresh spinach on the brink of expiration?

We stuffed this chicken* with almonds, red onions, crushed sesame melba crackers, tomatoes, bel paese and spinach. I had some leftover chardonnay that I put in the dish in the oven, and with ten minutes left on the timer, I added of a few strips of smoked gouda to melt over the top. To the leftover stuffing, I added jarred pesto to create a sauce for the pasta.

mmmm.

*this was a really funny process. I wish I had video :)

salmon + quinoa + kale

After an indulgent 5-day trip to New Orleans, I thought it best to cook a wholesome and healthy meal.

Broiled salmon, marinated in lemon juice and sprinkled with basil, salt and pepper was delicious with garlic and onion steamed kale over a bed of quinoa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's a snap-shot of some of the New Orleanian cuisine.

Shrimp cacciatori, roasted potatoes, crab cakes and steamed asparagus. 

YUM. I love food. ♥

snowy saturday

"This may be said for the last quarter of the twentieth century: the truism that if we want a better world we will have to be better people came to be acknowledged, if not thoroughly understood, by a significantly large minority. Despite the boredom and anxiety of the period, or because of it, despite the uneasy seas that separated the sexes, or because of them, thousands of thousands seemed willing to lend their bodies..."
- Still Life with Woodpecker, Tom Robbins

Almond&sea salt dark chocolate

Delicious. So glad I outed the $4 -- I'll savor it more!



Thanks to Miss Anna Spears for posting about this chocolate! 

collards

I just made some baller collard greens. 

This picture does not do them justice. 

Ingredients: 
1 tbspn olive oil
1 tbspn butter
onion
garlic
1 lb collards
1 can of roasted chopped tomatoes
red pepper flakes
cumin
salt and pepper
couple dashes of soy sauce
4 cups of water

I'm not much for measuring things, but I am very much for tasting as you go. I let the greens cook covered for about an hour and they were deliciously tender. Served over a some red beans and rice (canned) in a bowl made for a wonderful (lateish) dinner!

bok choy + crab cakes

Carrots, zuchinni, squash, bok choy in an onion and garlic, sesame oil sauce & WholeFoods crabcakes covered in crushed sesame Melba crackers paired with a glass of $3 Three Wishes Cabernet Sauvignon makes for a delicious Monday night meal. 

yayyyyrun-onssss